It’s 5 PM, dinner is not ready, and you’ve got a deadline to meet. So, you hand your kids a tablet. Every working mother in NZ has been there, but what if that small act is setting up a challenge you didn’t see coming?
Juggling work and family in New Zealand is a full-contact sport. You’re a professional, a partner, and a parent, often all at once, and sometimes a quiet house is the only thing that gets you through. Digital devices have become a trusted ally, the ultimate “on-demand babysitter” that gives you a few precious moments to breathe. But lately, you’ve noticed things feel a little… off. Your kids get grumpy when the screen goes away, and the tantrums seem to be getting worse. You might be starting to feel that low-level hum of guilt, wondering if you’re doing something wrong. The truth is, you’re not alone, and this isn’t about blaming you. It’s about understanding what’s really happening when the devices are on.
The reality is, screens aren’t just a harmless distraction. For our kids, they are shaping the way their brains develop, often without us even realizing it. I’ve seen this in my own work as a technology strategist, and as a mum. When I was deep in industrial automation, I was programming machines to respond to human input with perfect precision. It’s a bit like that with kids and screens. The human machine interface (HMI) for a young child’s brain is their entire world – touch, sound, and real-life interaction. But excessive, passive screen time short-circuits that process.
Think about it this way: when a child is on a device, they are consuming. They aren’t actively creating, problem-solving, or interacting with the world. That’s what passive screen time does. It’s like putting a car in neutral and expecting it to go somewhere. The engine is running, but the gears aren’t engaged. A recent NZ study revealed some eye-opening data: New Zealand children have some of the highest rates of digital device use in the world, with over 80% of kids aged 5-9 exceeding the recommended two hours per day. This isn’t a small problem—it’s a widespread one affecting our whole country. When kids spend too much time on screens, we start to see real, tangible effects: they may struggle with sleep, their vocabulary can shrink, and their ability to regulate their emotions can be impacted. They’re getting used to the quick-hit dopamine rush of the screen, and when you take it away, the crash can be intense.
So, how do you handle this? You’re not going to quit your job. You can’t just ban all screens—they are a part of modern life. The challenge is that you’re stuck in a cycle. The device gives you peace, but the aftermath is chaos. You need a different way to think about this, one that doesn’t involve guilt and constant battles. You need a strategy, not just a set of rules.
As parents and professionals, our time is our most valuable resource. We automate our home and work lives for efficiency, but we often forget to apply that same smart thinking to our kids’ digital world. The key isn’t to demonise technology; it’s to re-engineer our relationship with it. It’s not about how much screen time, but what kind of screen time. It’s about shifting from passive consumption to active engagement. I’ve found that by making small, strategic changes, you can reclaim your evenings and your sanity.
It’s that moment when you see it click. When your child picks up a book instead of a tablet, or when they ask to play a board game with you instead of watching a show. Or even still, puts down their device when they finish the task they initially started on it. This isn’t a fantasy; it’s the result of intentional choices. It’s about building a new system. Just like you would program a machine to perform a task, you can program new habits and routines for your family. It’s about creating a “digital life” that works for you, not against you.
We’ve established that the challenges with screen time are real and widespread, and that they often stem from a passive-consumption model. We’ve seen that the guilt you feel is valid, but the solution isn’t to punish yourself. The solution is to get smart, just like you do in your professional life. We can create better digital habits that lead to a healthier, happier family life. The journey begins with a single step, and that step is understanding the problem.
Ready to learn the simple, effective strategies I use to manage my own family’s digital world? In the next article, we’ll dive into a step-by-step plan that’s built for busy mums just like you.